See ya Snitches!!

So I have decided that I am going to end this blog and start over with a new blog. Please don't ask me why just feel like it. I will have another personal blog and a hair/skin blog. So I'm movin on up babes! Love ya and see ya there!

www.dontcareenough.blogspot.com
www.myhairistheish.blogspot.com

Locking It In!

Yeah I stole that quote from diddy and it works for me right now. Been slacking Back at it Nuff said Ha

Loving me

"I'm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes. I am out of control and, at times, hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." Ms.Monroe

-Directed to everyone who comes into my life and makes plans to stay. I'm not perfect but I am worth being in your life and worth the effort,time and work that is takes to keep me there.

"Everything I'm not make me everything I am" Mr.West

-I wont try to be her nor will I try to destory her. I will take that time to make a better me and make me and the one above happy. Chasing some one else life and trying to make it mine is a waste of the life I was given. I love the woman in the mirror so replacing her to become a copy isnt going to work when the orginal is its own materpiece.

Making time for me

Lately I have been seriously lacking on taking care of things for ME. So I decided for my birthday(June 19) I have am going to take time for me and reflect. Before my birthday I am going to clean and organize my room and buy a new bed so I can finally come home to a comfortable room and the weekend of my birthday I am going to go to a spa with my cell phone off and a clear mind. No texting, No facebook, no twitter nothing. I want some me time!

Oh yeah my birthday is coming!!! Geminis Stand Up!

Damn Since April?!?

Yeah I know I'm always doing this...Updates on my life with promises that I will get back on
my blogging. Well I forgot about this blog(kinda) and I didnt really have anything I felt was
worth saying. Until now.
Life for me has been different to say the least. I am newly single and not even claiming it. I guess I just wanna be with me so you can say I am in a relationship with Nikita and I am very happy.
The Mister and I are still friends so its no bad blood there. Moving from that...AiA is such a
DB(Douche Bag)! Nuff said.. Finally picked a major that I can be happy with. Also decided that
when I graduate that I will join the military. When I sign those papers I will let you know which
one. My healthy hair journey has been going good. I am learning a lot about my hair and
I love seeing my natural hair come through. This summer I will be protecting from my blow
dryer and flat iron so I will be rocking bantu-knot outs, wigs, weaves, braids etc. I feel very
free and confident when I wear my hair curly! I have decided to tranistion for a year to allow by hair to grow and after my year is up it is all natural for me baby! I have been getting back on
my writing game finally. I am proud of the poems I have written lately which means I am
getting better. I want perform this year(hopefully this summer) at a spoken word night. I have
also thought about doing some songwriting. Yeah I think I will. I fyou think I have forgot about
fashion you're crazy as hell. I have been working on it and I am excited for the ideas I have and
cant wait to show them to the word. Wont give any details because I normally change my mind
when it comes to things that have my name on it. I have come in contact with my family and I
feel othing but love in my heart. Being around them after nine years made me feel like I was
home. Now I see where my looks come from and where some of my personality comes from.
I will never stray away from my family and that a promise that will never be broken.

Overall I'm loving life and just trying to enjoy everyday with love, understanding and openess
in my heart. I got tired of carrying a heavy heart filled with anger, hurt and sadness. So I
dropped the load off and kept on stepping. Hope it didnt get recycled...

Nikita

This is my 70 blog post and its April Fools Day

Update on me...Blah, whatev, not needed, so what, only you care, yeah I need that, my hair growing, my nails aren't, being sick isn't cool, im getting wings later, bang bang, move over.

CSI is good. Makes me wanna go into never mind.

Twitter is cooler than I thought. Sorry but sometimes I give anything that tons of people flock to low expections.

I am actually excited about the DRAKE show on MAY 2nd at the LOFT. Not sure since I have heard one of his songs. Sad not im not going to the Janelle Monae concert. Just forgot to buy tickets.

Dates...
Getting new tattoos-Feb 2010
Going to Ohio-June 2009
Go to Domician hair salon-June 2009

Anything else is not needed by you. Don't be nosy.

Hey you girls standing in the line for the bathroom...everybody nose's.

Nikita

Once Again....

I may get knocked down but never knocked out.

Chris Brown And Rihanna=Media Field Day

For the past couple of days my favorite hip hop and gossip sites have been hitting me with almost minute by minute updates of Chris Brown and Rihanna's "situation". Everyday there is a different story, another celeb giving their thoughts, a different "police report"(made up) and other blah. I for one DO NOT condone nor excuse abuse of any kind whether its to a man or a woman. Your hands come into play when you can't use your words and talk things out. Now I do condone self-defense. If someone hits me I have to defend myself or the situation may get worse for me. Now I don't know the story nor do I want to find out. But I feel like the media has taken this and ran with it. At the end of the day both of them are human and they go through the same things we go through. They are saying that Chris has a history of this. So why all of a sudden its just now coming out? Please pass the bull. Now his stepfather wants to speak up and give his thoughts(please shut sit down and fall back...again). I just people with let this go and when the real offical stuff come out then you take it for what it is. Stop making the situation worse. If he did hit her he is wrong for it and he should be punished. If she hit him she is wrong for it and she should be punished.

Stop trying to make them super people and let them be human.

Just my rants

Nik

Nikita vs. Nik

Life has a way of throwing you a curve ball, yeah I know this. But does life have the pitching machine set on 20 a day? I have been fighting myself for the past couple of days. I have been fighting myself on what I know I should do and what I want to do. I have been playing myself for the last couple of months. I have not been facing the woman in the mirror. I have been avoiding her like a plague. I know if I confront her she will break me down like a baby. She will reveal all of the thoughts I have been keeping in my hush box. She will show me that I have not been loving me right. That's woman is bad. Sorry Beyonce but she more than a diva. She's been put on the back burner and I know she is mad.

Yeah, I have been neglecting my blog but its for good reason! I have been super busy! So I guess I will catch you on...My Life is Based On A True Story

-Jan 20 was def a day for change! I was just getting off my tour at GSU and heading to school on the train when he got sworn in but I got it on line. Obama's swag is crazy yall! And the funny thing is he isn't trying to be cool. He is going to bring a whole new light to that White House. Now people please understand this...He is not going to be able to fix 8 years of messups in 2009. It is going to take some time. It is also going to take the people who voted for him and the people who want to see change to stand behind him and help whenever we can. He did this for ALL of us so it takes ALL to support him. I don't care what anybody says but Michelle ball gown and the outfit she wore when he got sworn in was cute! Everybody was tripping because she didn't pick black designers to do her outfits so what! Yall don't trip when Beyonce and Rihanna aren't wearing black designers and yall be all over them! If you do your research you would know that the designers were all YOUNG. Both her and Barack have a strong connection to the younger community. Respect that!

-School is coming along good. Glad to be taking English 102. I like that my teacher pushes us when we write.

-Swagg is still a spoiled brat who refuses to sleep in a dog bed.

-My fashion sense is changing. My clothes are becoming more me and less trend.

-Even though I am changing majors and school you still need to be aware that I will be making this fashion world shine in a few!

-I have really been getting into my community service. I have found a church were I can be apart of their soup kitchen and I will be doing some volunteer work at a children's home. I have been thinking and I seriously want to work with young girls 12-17 and help get them or keep them on the road on love,success, and faith. I believe those are the ages when girls start to find themselves and figure out what the world is really about. I want to show them that you don't have to be naked and selling yourself short to be noticed. Respect is given to those that earn it.

- I am also starting my healthy hair journey like so many others this year. I don't want all this long hair and all that but I do want healthy managable hair.And if long hair comes with that then cool!

That's all folks!

Nikita

All I have to say...

I'm still standing.









Nikita

If they want you,best believe they will find you.

So I am working steady to getting my "independent lady" on. I am completing some things that I left hanging in 2008. I learned a lot in the impact panel I attened today. I plan to take a lot of the info with me and try to prevent others from making mistakes that could possibly affect them,friends,loved ones or someone they never met.

You may look at me and wonder what if?
What if I would have said this?
What if I would have done that?
Maybe things would be like this...

I wonder the same.

Nikita

Im swaggin Im surfin...

I have been thinking about going the natural again. When I first tried it I was misinformed. So I will give it another shot in about in a month or two. I have been following some really wonderful blogs (Thanks Ambrosia!) and gotten that little push to try it again!

Upon starting the new year I realized something! I am growing up! I am starting to take control of my life(with GOD still my captain) and working towards my goals and dreams. I am have so much that I want to do this year,next year,five years from now and I don't want to continue to hold myself down. I refuse to be my own worst enemy. I will leave that to others. I have come to learn that hard work, prayer, understanding and patience must be on my toolbelt. The world is not centered around so I need to adjust my spoiled way of thinking. Everyone does not think like Nikita and everyone may not understand my way of thinking. Over this year I took one of the biggest hits to my hearts. I hated everyone in the situation which in turned made me begin to hate myself. I thought about it everyday and allowed anger,hurt, and sadness to make a place in my heart. I won't allow myself to continue to walk around with my head down consumed with others' mistakes. I forgive everyone involved and am closing that chapter. GOD said he will never put more on us than we can handle and I truly believe it. If nothing else I believe in his word because it has been proven time and time again. I love me more than ever now! I feel happier when I wake up. I feel loved with my friends and loved ones. I had to allow myself to open my heart and take on life. I value and love the people in my life. I had to make choices about friends(good and bad) which had end results that I feel were for the best for both parties. I will continue to meet new people and apply an open mind. Hey, they must have had an open mind and patience to deal with me! I look forward to my new year.

Nik

New Years Ish

Normally I dont make New Years goals because I start them and quit or forget about them.Well not 09 Baby!
New Years Aims...

Learn to manage my money better-I randomly spend too much. Spending 200 on beauty products a month is crazy! I have bigger and better things planned for 09 so I cant be broke trying to do them!

Get my eating habits on track-I eat fast food too much. I guess its my addiction to fries! Im not saying that I will stop but I will create other altenatives like cooking at home.

Start ACTUALLY working on my body-Im not trying to lose all this kind of weight or anything. I want my body to be healthy, active and toned.

Take better care of my skin and hair-With all of the stuff going on with my daily I tend to neglect my hair and skin.

Say how I really feel when something gets to me-Sometimes I hold my mouth because I dont wanna always come off as rude but its startin to take a toll on me.

Do community service-I honestly want to help out my community, I can't continue to see people in need and not help. I have been thinking about helping with a battered women shelter. Also doing some walks and helping out at the baby ward at some hospitals as well as giving time to the termailly ill at the hospital. I have also signed up to be a big sister. I can't wait!

Build my G.P.A back up-My last quarter killed my G.P.A. So it my goal before I transfer to get back to working hard and hitting those books to get that G.P.A. up!

Dress up my look-I want to experiment with different types of clothing styles. You can't knock it until you try it!

Learn to have more patience for people and FULLY think before I express myself-Tired of pulling my foot out my mouth.

I feel all of these will make a better me
Nikita

Hmmm.

I'm not ready. But I will be.

Nik

Words unheard became Heard

Sometimes GOD puts you in certain place so you can be then when something happens. Why? So you can either see or hear it. Its what you needed at the time.That's how I feel right now. He put me there on Tuesday to hear those words I needed to hear. He knows I have been sad over it and I needed to hear those words. He was speaking to me. And I was listening.

I was listening.

Nik.

6 Heartbeats

How I define friends?
Those that you can call on no matter how small or big. The ones that allow you trip but don't allow you to fall. Those that support and believe in you even when you don't believe in yourself. Those that love you despite your past. Those that care enough about you to not allow you to damage yourself.

Thanks loves....

Chris-My pusher
Jazs-My comic relief
Carrisa-My inspiration
Brit-My mirror....

Walt-My life tutor
Steel-My Conformation

Nik

To whom it may concern,

You can keep hitting me, I refuse to get knocked out. I may fall but believe I'm getting back up. Back me into a corner and I can promise you I will always come out swinging and winning. I will not let you get to me and control my emotions and actions. Naw homie. If anybody is going to bring me down its going to be no one. Yeah you heard me. No one. You mad cause I stay in your mind and you wanna knock me off my high. Well get ready to feel that for a lifetime because I will continue to make you feel that way.

Living My Life,
Nikita"Nik" Brown