Yeah I'm Hurting But....

I was BUILT TO LAST!

Life is A Bitch Depending On How You Dress Her...

Today was hard! My life with Mr. is hard right now. But I was built to last.

Enough Said

Nik.

Are we destined to fail?

Why spend money on weed when your lights are off?

Our generation trips me out sometimes. I have just been thinking about the things we do and why we do them. Thinking about myself and my friends, I realize we make the dumbest choices. I know people who will spend their last dime of some damn weed and let their phone get cut off. Will spend money on a bunch of clothes and won't pay their bills. Will spend a check they just got on the club but won't put that money up for a rainy day. I can't really talk because I have the same(not the weed thing) thing but I can be the voice. Our generation is being set up to fail all the time and we keep falling in the traps. Maybe not everywhere but its like that in my surroundings. I know people say why save money if you can't die with it. Well you don't know when you are going to die so why be broke while you are here? Are those rims on you car more important than that college loan you paying? I guess I get mad about it cause I am guilty of doing it as well so after looking at it from another point view I really feel stupid! So I decided I am going to be better with my money...

-Take 10%-15% out of every check.
-Put away money for a retirement fund.(plan on retiring at age 35)
-Pay all bills 1st before buying other things.
-Save up for things (Trip,house etc.)

Hell its a start....

Nik.

My Life Is Based On A True Story

So lately I have been going through somethings both good and bad. I am 21 now so I need to be making bigger and better moves. I took the first step and went to school. While I was sitting in my english class today, I gained back my passion for writing. When i started this blog I started as something to do from time to time. As I look back at my older posts,I noticed I had something to say but didn't know how to. Then I realized that this is my damn blog! I can say whatever I want to say how I want to say it!  I am a young african american female with a lot of views and thoughts so of course I have a lot to say! I guess I was worried about what people would say but honestly I don't care. If I lived my life based off what people thought me I would be in deep depression. But Im not. I love who I am and what I am becoming. I have changed so much it is crazy! But we all have to go though changes. Its oh so needed. So please expect more blogging from me. This is my way of telling my story. I don't expect everybody to agree with everything I say but it not meant to please everyone else. Its just my life. The truth and the whole truth and nothing but.

I also have to say. Chica I love you just like you are my sister and its hurting me to see you going through this. Dont let someone knock you down and keep you down. If he is not going to be here then say whatever and keep it moving. Life is so unpredictable so dont waste you time dwelling on something that's so not worth your energy and time. You are hella better than that. I know you are cause you are my chica and I pick them very wisely. I dont kick it with girls that are negative,not worth my time and not doing anything for themselves(maybe just one but you know how that is!). So please don't fall back. Let this be your drive to bigger and better things. Remember we are cooler than the other side of the pillow and tighter than tight. Love you!

Join on the ride called life....

Nik.

School Time-Nik a College Girl now!

Okay kiddos, so I start school on monday I'm super excited! My 1st on monday is a 8am English class. If you know anything about me then you its hard me to get up in the morning...unless its for something I really want to do....

So I will be there bright and early!

Nik.

Yea.

Defeat only makes me stronger.

Nik.

Guess what I did?...

I took the 1st 3 tests of the GED today. Yep me. Say what you wanna but im out to get mine. Its just one extra step I have to take to be on my road to success. I figured you should hear it from my mouth. That's the only one that matter on here right? The 1st 3 were kinda easy the only one im really worried about is the math which I take on wednesday. Some may ask if I am worried about my friends finding out. Nope. My true friend will be happy that I am doing this. My so called friends will talk about me, laugh not care. I rather not have them in my life anyway.

.Nik.

21 snitches!

Photos and details coming...whenever.
Thanks christa and steel for the gifts!
.Nik.

You know those people you see on the side of the highway? The ones with the car is fucked like crazy? Today I was one of those people. I got into a bad wreck and totaled my impala. I hit the wall on the expressway. So right now I am without car but that does not matter to me. I still have my life. God and my angel(my dad) had their arms wrapped around me and I walked with bruises only. Me and mom have gotten closer because of this. When I went to see her to let her know I was okay. She hugged me and I cried like a baby. I was upset,sad and hurt and all that came out. I remember saying to her that I thought I was going to die when I hit the wall. That's was the 1st time in years that I was like that with my mom. And it should not be like that. I really realized that my mom cares about me and my safety. I love her for that.

It made me realize that life can be taken away from you at any moment so you gotta enjoy what you have and love the ones with you.I love you all with all my heart and more.

.Nik.

The Freedom Of It

I'm coming back

.Nik.

History has been made!

Change is Coming...

.Nik.

Yeah, I say what I wanna.

Have you ever felt like you were holding in too much and your body was going to explode? That how my 5'0 130 pound body feels right now. I feel like I can never say whatever I want all the time. I hold somethings in to protect my family and friends feelings. But sometimes I think somethings should be said.

I talked to a friend and I felt like it was neccessary that I told him about how I felt about his situation and all he did was laugh. I don't even think he took what I said seriously. But in reality he should because nobody else will. But I will never force anybody to take my advice. It a take it or leave it situation. Once its out my mouth I no longer care.

I have decided today that whatever is on my mind I will say it. That does not mean I will a asshole about but it means that I won't let it build up inside me. That cause stress and stress can cause health problems. No sir, I don't think so.

.Nik.

Late Night Thoughts

So the Mr. & I decided to spend the day together. Funny,right? Its funny because me and him are always busy doing other time that we forget that we need to spend a day with just us. We talked about the "big move". Yeah its a big move for both of us. We also talked about the name I came up with my company. We also slept from 6pm till 11pm. I think we are good now....

.Nik.

Turning the page

I realized something. I am proud as hell at the woman staring back at me in the mirror. I have come a long way from that spoiled girl. I stepped out on faith and chose to be out on my own. I have been through some setbacks and through some crazy ass highs. After thinking about all of it all I can do is smile. Im about to walk into another chapter in my life and I cant wait to see what life has in store me. If HE has my back then I'll be good.

Another falls back...

I mean damn buckeey really? I actually liked you on charm school and here you go a f' up my 2 percent like. I guess what they say must be true. And raw buckeey? I guess AIDS, STD or just maybe a baby never came to mind. Yeah he played you...

* For those who dont know what im talking about, Im talking about the buckeey sex tape that is going around. Its clear ass day. If somebody can seriously prove that thats not her I will take my words back. And naw im not puttin the video up.

.Nik.

To the Mr.

"Would you love me if I didn't workout or I didn't change my natural hair? And could I be the one you want to grow older with baby? I'll give you all that I got"

Thanks for proving that you will!

.Nik.

Just letting go. I understand now key!

Sometimes its like that

.Nik.

So I woke up this morning and realized 3 things: 1. The rent is due 2. My check from Trs is in my bank account 3. Its May 1st. Meaning next month I will be turning 21. Meaning I need to do some inner house cleaning...

-Get rid of people who are not postive, not supportive of me, my dreams, and goals, and not doing anything with their lives.

-Spend time with family, friends and myself.

- Laugh More, Smile More and try to understand more.

-Realize that I am not superwoman and that is fine.

-Stop letting my life get so cluttered

-Learn to say please and thank you more

-Stop being afraid to say I love you

-Learn that the past is gone...

-Realize that I cant change everything and everyone

Got more but I tired...

.Nik.

Birthday Shout Outs!! Love you girls!!!

I meant to do this the other day but I so forgot so...

Happy 21st Birthday Christa(April 17th)
I love you man like my own sister! We got hella years together and hella more together! Hope you enjoyed your birthday! Love Ya

Happy 21st Birthday Towanda(April 18th)
You will always be my chica! I miss you and you already know we gotta get back close! Hope your 21st was a great as you!! Love ya!

.Nik.